The Double-Edged Sword of Manifesting

There is a double edged sword when it comes to desire and manifesting. For those of you who are familiar with the law of attraction know that whatever we desire we can attract through our feelings, thoughts, and words. Desire is the strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. Whether it's a house with a white picket fence, love and romance, or inner peace, we all have desires ready to be manifested.

The beautiful part about desire is, we can truly have everything we want if we know how to maneuver reality to our liking. The negative aspects of desire is that there is an underlying belief that we do not already possess what we want -- the feeling of wanting something means we feel we do not have it. That feeling of lack sends conflicting signals to the universe, which in return gives you what you feel rather than what you actually desire...this unfortunately gives you the exact opposite of what you want. Confused yet?

What the book and movie, The Secret, fail to mention is that what we hold in our unconscious mind also accounts for the law of attraction. We attract into our realities that in which we are not aware of. This gets rather confusing because most of us are unaware of thoughts and belief systems we hold in our unconscious mind that have been there most of our lives. In fact, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst (also one of my boyfriends), Carl Jung, has a quote:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

With this being said, Self-Awareness is an essential part of manifesting the life you crave. You not only have to be aware of what you desire and why you desire it, you have to be aware of unconscious thoughts and limiting beliefs. This is no easy task. This requires time for self-reflection and observation which many people claim they do not have. In fact, we all have time for it, it's a matter of priority. Self-Awareness is also something you cannot achieve alone. Yes, this does seem paradoxical BUT we need others to point out aspects of ourselves we are unaware of. This is where books, blogs, guides, and coaches come in.

Now that you know this, begin observing certain patterns that keep manifesting into your life over and over. Are you attracting the same type of relationships, jobs, financial situations, illnesses? Are they unwanted patterns? If so, there is work you need to do for the sake of your future reality.

Self-Awareness is not just some fluffy, new age, self-help mumbo jumbo. To be Self-Aware means to be in control of your reality. What bigger super power can anyone wish for?

If you are ready to delve deeper into YOUR journey towards Self-Awareness and discover what lies in your unconscious mind, schedule a time to talk with me. You do not have to continue with unwanted cycles. You are worthy of everything you want out of life, remember that.

With Love,



Self-awareness coaching

Ready to begin YOUR journey towards self-discovery? Click below to work one-on-one with Sonya.

Letting Go: A Semi-Poem

Make a wish…

Then lightly blow on the dandelion so its seeds can flow with the wind as it carries your wishes with them.

Not knowing where the seeds are flying to, we trust the wind to deliver them to wherever they need to be. We release the wish and wait patiently for its return.

It’s not just a child’s game, it’s one of the universal laws. If you really want something, you have to be willing to let it go. The irony of life.

Make a wish…

Blow out the candles. Wish upon a shooting star. Throw a coin into the well.

It all requires letting go and trusting what you want will make its way to you.

Nature has a way of proving her magic to us. The sun sets and we trust it to rise the next morning. Ripened fruits are released from their trees and we trust more will grow. We see her magic all the time, yet we tend to forget that we too are part of nature. It is not something that is separate from us. We must let go of everything we desire, everything we fear to lose…and trust the magic.

With Love,



Self-Awareness Coaching

Ready to begin YOUR journey towards self-discovery? Click below to work one-on-one with Sonya.

My Week Without Social Media

If you have an iPhone you might be familiar with the screen time summary given at the end of each week. For those of you who are not familiar with this feature, iPhone politely gives users a rundown on how much of their life’s time they are trading for instant gratification of superficial and temporary pleasures. In other words, it breaks down phone usage by day and weeks with details on what apps users spend most of their time on. For me, I was spending an average of nearly 5 hours per day (more than 30 hours a week!) on my phone, many of those hours spent on social media.

Like many other people, I was a bit naughty this holiday season. I allowed myself to resort back to self-sabotaging behaviors I have worked so hard to find balance with. I allowed myself to steer away from my spiritual path and be led my ego. I ate tons, drank plenty of adult beverages, and was very merry. I had become engrossed with my digital image and reputation trying to reach 10,000 followers on the gram. I knew I was spiraling down a shallow rabbit hole with no peace, love, or happiness in sight.

Taking a break from social media was not a difficult task for me. I have always been a rebel of conformity and prior to using social media as a form of marketing for my Life Coaching business, I refused to be part of the “in” crowd when it came to social media. Did I miss it? Kind of...I missed interacting with my followers, reading about their personal transformations, influencing, etc. I did NOT miss me spending hours looking at funny cat videos, stalking ex boyfriends or old colleagues I worked with back in 2010.

Without social media for a week I averaged 3 hours per day (21 hours a week) on my phone. So what did I do with an extra 2 hours to my day and 14 hours to my week? I’ll tell ya:

I meditated for 30 minutes daily, wrote in my journal, took naps, watched Dirty Dancing, took a long walk with a friend, took a long nighttime walk in the rain by myself, got an oil change, signed up for boxing classes, bought clothes I don’t need, had lunch with my sisters and cute baby niece, talked on the phone with a friend, read (a lot), listened to lots of Academy of Ideas and Abraham Hicks lectures on YouTube, cooked, daydreamed, cleaned, wrote this blog post, and most importantly, I completed my first eBook!

Needless to say, it was a pretty productive week for me without social media. I encourage all of you to take a 1 week (or longer) break from social media to reset your perspective on how you’re spending your life’s time. You can do it, I believe in you.

Now time for some shameless advertising:

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With Love,


Avoiding Toxic Relationships During the Holidays

As the holidays are coming to an end and New Years is approaching, many of us may be feeling nostalgic this time of the year. We may be thinking about passed loved ones, childhood memories, old lovers, etc.

Although nostalgia tends to bring up fond memories of the good ol’ days, nostalgia can also be a trick the mind plays that gives us an excuse to relapse. I am not talking about relapsing with drugs and alcohol, I am talking about relapsing with another type of addiction -- toxic relationships. This could mean family, platonic, or romantic relationships. I get it, with the weather outside being frightful and the fire being so delightful, our memories like to romanticize the good while forgetting to remember the bad.

I am not trying to be a Negative Nancy, but I see it with my clients EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR. “...But I was in the holiday spirit and I just wanted to see how they were doing...” Uh, no. You were lonely, gave into temptation, and relapsed. Yes, forgive...please forgive. Forgive people who have hurt you, forgive yourself for playing a part. In some cases, salvaging a relationship is absolutely possible and sometimes necessary for your higher calling. If someone has shown you over again that they do not value you; if someone has brought you more pain than joy throughout the years; if someone has made you question your self-worth and has made you feel less than you deserve then it is time to let them go, let them go, let them go!

Let me give you some free life-changing advice: just because someone is labeled family, a friend, an ex husband/wife, etc. does NOT mean you have to keep them in your life. You have to respect and love yourself enough to walk away and stay away from toxic relationships. No, it is not easy, but it is worth it. You can forgive someone and continue to love them from a distance.

So do yourself a favor this holiday season (and forever) and do not send or respond to those “hey stranger” texts. Love and forgive all who have done you wrong, but love yourself more.

You will begin to see all the magic life has to offer you once you let go of toxic energies. Just like any other addiction, recovery is possible and you are worthy of it.

With Love,


Allowing the flow of life

There is one guarantee to life – the fact that nothing is constant. Change is an ever-present occurrence that no one can escape. From the rotating planets to the cells in our bodies there is not one aspect of life that is immune to change. There is no moment in time that is the exact same as the previous moment.

Around the world the majority of people seem to fear change. Change of living situations, change of employment, change of relationships, change of possessions. I myself have tried to avoid change, holding on to people, places, and objects attempting to avoid the unavoidable. What I have learned is that while refusing to let go I was causing more damage to myself and slowing down the progression of growth. While practicing the art of allowance, I have discovered that resistance blocks blessings.

The fluctuation of life is inevitable and the more we resist the more we lose. Resisting is like swimming against the ocean’s current, it does not work in your favor. It’s all about surrendering -- allowing the flow of things coming and going from your life. Letting go of expectations of how life is supposed to be and trusting this beautiful journey.  If we allow it to, the universe will work in our favor, but we have to trust the process.

Change can hurt. Sometimes change will make us cry and scream and want to hide away, but the pain will pass. The pain always passes if we allow it to. Feel the feelings and embrace the magic of new beginnings. When we learn to view upcoming seasons of our lives as new adventures the unknown seems less scary.

Surrounding yourself with the right people

Who we surround ourselves with has a profound effect on who we are and who we will become.

How do you know if you’re surrounded by the right people? Pay attention to the feeling you get in your body. When you are around different groups of people, are you being drained of your energy? Or are you being empowered and energized?

Are the people in your close circle living a life you are proud of? Are they people you aspire to be like, or have you outgrown them?

For example, if you are trying to lose weight and live a healthy life, surrounding yourself with people who eat at the buffet every weekend is probably not in your best interest. If you are trying to make $1 million per year and you are surrounded by people who are complacent with making minimum wage, maybe it’s time to reevaluate who you hang out with. If you want to live a more positive and inspiring life, eliminate the toxic people in your circle.

Here’s a little secret, you literally do NOT have to be friends with people you do not want to be friends with. Many of us associate with certain people because we have known them forever or because we feel obligated to do so, not because we actually WANT to.

Respect yourself enough to eliminate toxic energies from your life. You deserve to live an inspiring life, a life YOU are proud of. Don’t play small with your life and don’t surround yourself with people who play small with theirs.

Trusting your own madness

We tend to live our life according other people’s standards. After about the age of 5 we begin to lose our individuality and begin to live a life according the expectations of the adults around us. The first 5 years of our lives are years of wonder and magic – living for the present and not caring about what’s to come tomorrow, or the next day, or next year.

Once we start formal schooling we’re taught who we should be and what we should think by adults who were taught the same. The sense of wonder and magic eventually fade and is replaced with worry and hard work.  We’re taught to never question and just do what we’re told because “that’s just how it is.” We study, work, worry, retire, die. When does the actual living take place? Where did the magic go?

The magic is definitely still there, it’s just buried underneath society’s embedded drive to achieve the American Dream as we’re slowly dying without really living.

Then there are those crazy ones. The ones with ideas so out of the cookie cutter idea of reality. The ones with ideas so ‘out there’ others laugh, disregard their ideas, and call them mad.

What you must do is TRUST YOUR OWN MADNESS.

Go back to that inner child with eyes of wonder and magic. Realize that all the magic you hope will fix all of your grown-up problems is already within you – it never left. Act on the sparks of inspiration you have to better yourself. Travel, start your own business, help others, run in the fields, play in the mud, leave unhappy relationships, stare at the stars for hours on end!

Follow that fire in your soul, let it guide you. Do not fear the flame, embrace it.  Take leaps of faith into the abyss as the universe tends to fall in love with bravery. You are enough, you always have been.

Stop giving into your fears and start living into your dreams

What would you do with your life if money wasn’t an issue?

I first came across this question two years ago while listening to a speech by Alan Watts, a British philosopher. At that time, I was working as a Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor helping people diagnosed with serious mental illness. A huge part of my job responsibilities was helping my clients find employment. It is a therapeutic approach in which clients can reintegrate into society despite their diagnosis. After the Alan Watts question was brought to my attention, I began asking my clients the same question. I not only asked my clients the question, I asked my colleagues, family, friends, and even myself.

What would anyone be doing with their lives if money wasn’t an issue??

Answers I received left me perplexed as almost EVERYONE I asked would be doing something different with their lives than what they were currently doing.

One of my colleagues at the time stated she would quit her job and open up her own dog sanctuary. This colleague worked as a Psychologist which means she spent most of her adult life in school simply to perform a job she didn’t want to do. Not to mention, all the money she spent on her education could have went into her dog sanctuary business.

Recently, still perplexed with this question, I took to Quora to get a broader range of answers: If money was not an issue, what would you be doing with your life? This question received more answers than any other question I have asked on Quora. People were eager to answer this seemingly far-fetched, fantasy world of a question. 

The vast majority of respondents stated they would quit their job. What they would do afterwards varied, but common themes arose over and over again. These themes include:

  • Traveling the world
  • Moving to another country or town
  • Humanitarian work
  • Spending more time doing stuff they love such as writing or painting
  • Starting their own business
  • Going back to school

The more I ask, the more I wonder, why aren’t people doing this stuff NOW? Why do these answers only exist in a hypothetical scenario and not in reality?

I began asking friends and family and, again, took to Quora: What is keeping you from quitting your job and living the life you want?

What I found interesting was that NOT ONE PERSON stated they are currently living the life they want. The answers I received were all variations of the same, fear of not having enough money to live on.

I get it. We have all become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. A home, a car, good clothes, cable, nights out on the town, etc., etc. In order to maintain our lifestyles, we need a steady and consistent income. To have a steady and consistent income, we need a steady and consistent job. In most cases, we work 40+ hours a week, literally exchanging our lives time for money.

We are literally exchanging our lives’ time due to fear of not being able to maintain a certain lifestyle that we really don’t want.

We really shouldn’t live our lives on the basis of fear; fear should not dictate how we spend our time here on Earth. Fear and faith are both imagination in action where fear is often disguised as practicality or logic. Instead of fearing failure, why not have faith in success?

We do not need lavish amounts of money to live the life we want, we just have to be creative. Also, working a 9-5 is not the only way to establish an income, it is only one way.

What it comes down to are priorities. We all have a choice. We can choose to trade our life’s time to feed our fears or our dreams. What do you choose?

Loving your physical body

Self-Love: Adventure #1

Love yourself. We hear it all the time. We see it on inspirational pages all over social media. We tell others to love themselves when they are feeling insecure or are in times of despair. We know what it is, but how do you love yourself?

There is no way to learn to love yourself in just one blog, video, or even session. Loving yourself is about undoing a lifetime’s worth of conditioning that was placed on you via outside forces.

So, how do you love yourself?

In this first video of the Self-Love Adventure series, I provide 4 tips and tricks on how you can love your physical body as is.

I hope you find this beneficial. Make sure to share this video to those who might find it beneficial and subscribe!