As the holidays are coming to an end and New Years is approaching, many of us may be feeling nostalgic this time of the year. We may be thinking about passed loved ones, childhood memories, old lovers, etc.
Although nostalgia tends to bring up fond memories of the good ol’ days, nostalgia can also be a trick the mind plays that gives us an excuse to relapse. I am not talking about relapsing with drugs and alcohol, I am talking about relapsing with another type of addiction -- toxic relationships. This could mean family, platonic, or romantic relationships. I get it, with the weather outside being frightful and the fire being so delightful, our memories like to romanticize the good while forgetting to remember the bad.
I am not trying to be a Negative Nancy, but I see it with my clients EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR. “...But I was in the holiday spirit and I just wanted to see how they were doing...” Uh, no. You were lonely, gave into temptation, and relapsed. Yes, forgive...please forgive. Forgive people who have hurt you, forgive yourself for playing a part. In some cases, salvaging a relationship is absolutely possible and sometimes necessary for your higher calling. If someone has shown you over again that they do not value you; if someone has brought you more pain than joy throughout the years; if someone has made you question your self-worth and has made you feel less than you deserve then it is time to let them go, let them go, let them go!
Let me give you some free life-changing advice: just because someone is labeled family, a friend, an ex husband/wife, etc. does NOT mean you have to keep them in your life. You have to respect and love yourself enough to walk away and stay away from toxic relationships. No, it is not easy, but it is worth it. You can forgive someone and continue to love them from a distance.
So do yourself a favor this holiday season (and forever) and do not send or respond to those “hey stranger” texts. Love and forgive all who have done you wrong, but love yourself more.
You will begin to see all the magic life has to offer you once you let go of toxic energies. Just like any other addiction, recovery is possible and you are worthy of it.